The TV

I have never been much of a TV watcher.  People sometimes view this as a sign of cultural snobbery, but I just have never liked to watch it much.  There is something about the electronic voices that don't work with my ears, and I have never been great at sitting still.  When I do watch, it is likely to be either as a social activity, i.e., the whole family is watching something, or an experience in train wrecks.  Stuff that just seems too awful to believe will catch my eye and I will end up watching Keeping Up With The Kardashians, or something like that.  For years I would try to not even own a TV, but people kept giving them to me because they couldn't believe I didn't want one.

Doc loves TV.  He keeps it on all the time.  He reads while it is on, or plays on the computer, or knits, or just sits and watches it.  A few years ago, in time for the Superbowl, I went and bought a nice, fairly large TV for the living room.  I bought him a recliner that he said was comfortable, even though I hate it and it looks awful in our living room.  Everything is all set up for him to enjoy.

He never uses the TV.  He never sits in the chair.  Instead, he sits in bed and watches the TV in the bedroom.  I HATE having a TV in the bedroom at all, but I relented because it meant so much to him and because there have been times when he couldn't get out of bed for extended periods of time.  I thought he needed the entertainment and distraction from pain.

I wish I hadn't.  I wish I had stuck to my guns and never let the thing in my room.  Not only does he keep it on way too late, making it impossible for me to sleep, but he also never leaves the room.  He is no longer part of the family in any real way, except as the bill payer.  That is not what I ever wanted.  When we first married, we would play games together, cook together, and take care of the kids together.  He used to make their lunches, pick them up after school, do work around the house.  Now he sits and watches TV.  He never knows where the kids are, where the groceries are, or how to find the pot or pan he would need if he were going to cook.  He does always know where the remote is.

Of course many things are harder for him than they used to be.  That is part of the reason he doesn't do as much, but I think the TV really keeps him from participating in life.  It is too easy to turn it on, stay in bed, and watch someone else's life flash by.