Well, slow, yes, steady not so much.
My house is a maze of not-quite-finished projects that were interrupted by various surgeries over the years. They all bother me, but chief among the unfinished projects is the kitchen, which was done years ago except for the backsplash and cabinet filler strips. The backsplash is something I could do myself, mostly, but the cabinets were not quite square.
So, I pushed my husband into rehanging them correctly. Not just because they drive me crazy, but also because I know that he is always happier when he is working on something. Unfortunately, this project is going very, very slowly. He has taken down 3 and rehung 2 over the space of about a week.
I am trying hard to walk the line between patience and pushing him to do something I know will make him happier. Part of the problem is that I know he does have real pain, but I also know that he has a tendency to use his pain to avoid doing things that are hard. It would be easy for me to assume that all his complaints are malingering, and it would be possible that I would be right. However, it would also be very likely that I would be wrong.
These delays are more than just annoying, though, the cabinets being down have made it difficult to cook, difficult to wash dishes, difficult to feed the dogs even, depending on where the cabinets are. That means we are eating out, which isn't great for health or wallets. I'm also really concerned with the damage that could be done while they are out. We have three dogs that can be rambunctious and knock things over. There is also water in the kitchen, splashed while doing dishes, splashed from the dogs bowl, or just spilled.
Someday, the cabinets will be rehung, and then I can get to work on that backsplash!
Showing posts with label amputee. Show all posts
Showing posts with label amputee. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 25, 2015
Monday, March 9, 2015
Wisdom?
It's a funny thing, when I started this blog, I expected to learn so much about how to be a good wife to an amputee that I would have all kinds of wisdom to share with my readers. It turns out, I don't feel much wiser at all. And I'm not sure that I'm a good wife most of the time. Still, I do have some things to share with you that apply mostly to leg amputees.
1) Try to keep the dogs out of the way when your spouse is on crutches. Dogs have a tendency to freak out over crutches, even after living with them for years, and some dogs will act like squirrels in front of a car, running back and forth. This increases the likelihood of your spouse tripping over them and hurting something else.
2) It's nice to open doors for people on crutches, but once you've done the opening, the crutches make great door stops.
3) Carrying hot coffee is nearly impossible on crutches, so you probably don't want to ask your spouse to pick you up a cup of Starbucks unless they are wearing their leg.
4) Walking with the leg on is hard work. It requires a lot more effort than walking on a real leg, even if that leg is mangled.
5) At the grocery store, let your spouse push the cart if they are wearing their leg. It acts as a walker, helping with balance and preventing them from falling.
6) The leg will ALWAYS be doing something weird, like falling off when they stand from sitting, twisting around a bit when they are walking, slipping into an uncomfortable position, etc.
7) Your spouse has no feeling in the prosthesis. This means that they can step on your toes and stand on them without ever realizing it. Try to tell them nicely to get off your toes rather than instinctively pushing them off.
So there you have it, the sum total of my wisdom of being married to an amputee. If you have anything to add, please let me know. I really need to get a little wiser!
1) Try to keep the dogs out of the way when your spouse is on crutches. Dogs have a tendency to freak out over crutches, even after living with them for years, and some dogs will act like squirrels in front of a car, running back and forth. This increases the likelihood of your spouse tripping over them and hurting something else.
2) It's nice to open doors for people on crutches, but once you've done the opening, the crutches make great door stops.
3) Carrying hot coffee is nearly impossible on crutches, so you probably don't want to ask your spouse to pick you up a cup of Starbucks unless they are wearing their leg.
4) Walking with the leg on is hard work. It requires a lot more effort than walking on a real leg, even if that leg is mangled.
5) At the grocery store, let your spouse push the cart if they are wearing their leg. It acts as a walker, helping with balance and preventing them from falling.
6) The leg will ALWAYS be doing something weird, like falling off when they stand from sitting, twisting around a bit when they are walking, slipping into an uncomfortable position, etc.
7) Your spouse has no feeling in the prosthesis. This means that they can step on your toes and stand on them without ever realizing it. Try to tell them nicely to get off your toes rather than instinctively pushing them off.
So there you have it, the sum total of my wisdom of being married to an amputee. If you have anything to add, please let me know. I really need to get a little wiser!
Sunday, March 8, 2015
The TV
I have never been much of a TV watcher. People sometimes view this as a sign of cultural snobbery, but I just have never liked to watch it much. There is something about the electronic voices that don't work with my ears, and I have never been great at sitting still. When I do watch, it is likely to be either as a social activity, i.e., the whole family is watching something, or an experience in train wrecks. Stuff that just seems too awful to believe will catch my eye and I will end up watching Keeping Up With The Kardashians, or something like that. For years I would try to not even own a TV, but people kept giving them to me because they couldn't believe I didn't want one.
Doc loves TV. He keeps it on all the time. He reads while it is on, or plays on the computer, or knits, or just sits and watches it. A few years ago, in time for the Superbowl, I went and bought a nice, fairly large TV for the living room. I bought him a recliner that he said was comfortable, even though I hate it and it looks awful in our living room. Everything is all set up for him to enjoy.
He never uses the TV. He never sits in the chair. Instead, he sits in bed and watches the TV in the bedroom. I HATE having a TV in the bedroom at all, but I relented because it meant so much to him and because there have been times when he couldn't get out of bed for extended periods of time. I thought he needed the entertainment and distraction from pain.
I wish I hadn't. I wish I had stuck to my guns and never let the thing in my room. Not only does he keep it on way too late, making it impossible for me to sleep, but he also never leaves the room. He is no longer part of the family in any real way, except as the bill payer. That is not what I ever wanted. When we first married, we would play games together, cook together, and take care of the kids together. He used to make their lunches, pick them up after school, do work around the house. Now he sits and watches TV. He never knows where the kids are, where the groceries are, or how to find the pot or pan he would need if he were going to cook. He does always know where the remote is.
Of course many things are harder for him than they used to be. That is part of the reason he doesn't do as much, but I think the TV really keeps him from participating in life. It is too easy to turn it on, stay in bed, and watch someone else's life flash by.
Doc loves TV. He keeps it on all the time. He reads while it is on, or plays on the computer, or knits, or just sits and watches it. A few years ago, in time for the Superbowl, I went and bought a nice, fairly large TV for the living room. I bought him a recliner that he said was comfortable, even though I hate it and it looks awful in our living room. Everything is all set up for him to enjoy.
He never uses the TV. He never sits in the chair. Instead, he sits in bed and watches the TV in the bedroom. I HATE having a TV in the bedroom at all, but I relented because it meant so much to him and because there have been times when he couldn't get out of bed for extended periods of time. I thought he needed the entertainment and distraction from pain.
I wish I hadn't. I wish I had stuck to my guns and never let the thing in my room. Not only does he keep it on way too late, making it impossible for me to sleep, but he also never leaves the room. He is no longer part of the family in any real way, except as the bill payer. That is not what I ever wanted. When we first married, we would play games together, cook together, and take care of the kids together. He used to make their lunches, pick them up after school, do work around the house. Now he sits and watches TV. He never knows where the kids are, where the groceries are, or how to find the pot or pan he would need if he were going to cook. He does always know where the remote is.
Of course many things are harder for him than they used to be. That is part of the reason he doesn't do as much, but I think the TV really keeps him from participating in life. It is too easy to turn it on, stay in bed, and watch someone else's life flash by.
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